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Synchronous Failure (1147)
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by: jacobvandy (1636)
Posted 75 months ago in category DEFAULT
The following conversation between myself and a teenage Argentinian boy is real. It represents the essence of his greatness. It was completely spontaneous and has been preserved un-altered, un-edited, un-censored, and just plain un-messed with.
[22:09] jacobvandy: guido man it's like black thursday over here
[22:09] rocklover3300: what's a black thursday?
[22:10] jacobvandy: the stock in our company crashed to an all time low
[22:10] jacobvandy: people are going bankrupt, it's anarchy
[22:10] rocklover3300: motherfucker anarchy
[22:10] rocklover3300: i bet the motherfucker punk are happy now
[22:10] rocklover3300: fix the problem, that's why i pay you for
[22:11] jacobvandy: yeah, stealing televisions and riots everywhere, one guy has a forklift
[22:11] jacobvandy: the board of trustees is not going to be happy i'll tell you what
[22:11] rocklover3300: tell me what
[22:12] jacobvandy: no that's an expression, but i need you to assure these guys that it will all be fine by tomorrow, tell them anything maybe it'll stop the madness
[22:13] rocklover3300: naa, i wont say anything, i'll just shoot each of them;)
[22:14] jacobvandy: you're going to need a lot of bullets, that stock was very popular, i even had to sell some of mine to meet the demand
[22:15] rocklover3300: ok, buy some mines
[22:15] rocklover3300: ground mines
[22:15] jacobvandy: brilliant, just hope they don't steal any metal detectors, because i think sony makes those too
[22:15] jacobvandy: you go into the store and see sony plasma screens then two feet away is metal detectors, they might get an idea
[22:16] rocklover3300: eek ok ylet's do it
[22:18] rocklover3300: what do we need?
[22:19] jacobvandy: i don't know where to get land mines, what am i? some kind of land mine lover?
[22:19] jacobvandy: i thought you would know
[22:19] rocklover3300: yeah i know..
[22:19] rocklover3300: tell me a place to buy them
[22:19] jacobvandy: land mine store?
[22:19] jacobvandy: do they have those at wally world?
[22:20] rocklover3300: wally the striped sweater guy's world???
[22:21] jacobvandy: no, wrong store
[22:21] jacobvandy: the one with the mickey D's in it
[22:21] rocklover3300: no idea
[22:22] rocklover3300: i'll check amazon.com;)
[22:22] jacobvandy: they have everything there, so i guess that'd work
[22:22] jacobvandy: how are we going to deploy these mines, like who's going to dig the holes
[22:23] rocklover3300: punks are dumb people we will just leave them on the ground, they'll step on them
[22:24] jacobvandy: oh, yeah, huh
[22:24] jacobvandy: they'll think they're fine china or something and want to break them because that's what they do right?
[22:25] rocklover3300: yeaaah
[22:25] rocklover3300: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=br_ss_hs/002-5860386-1079231?platform=gurupa&url=index%3Dblended&keywords=land+mines
[22:25] rocklover3300: that's what i found
[22:25] jacobvandy: hmm, i don't know how much damage paint will do
[22:26] jacobvandy: unless it ruins their hair
[22:26] jacobvandy: then they'd be really depressed
[22:26] rocklover3300: yeah
[22:26] rocklover3300: they'll want to die after that
[22:27] jacobvandy: okay, so how many do we need
[22:27] jacobvandy: i have to work it into the budget
[22:28] rocklover3300: mybe 20 of them
[22:28] rocklover3300: maybe*
[22:28] rocklover3300: yeah that'll be fine
[22:29] jacobvandy: really? there's 20 people rioting?
[22:29] jacobvandy: or maybe they'll get like 3 at a time
[22:29] jacobvandy: area of effect
[22:29] rocklover3300: 3 of the the time
[22:29] rocklover3300: we will win
[22:29] rocklover3300: that's for sure
[22:30] jacobvandy: okay, then after they're dead, we just absorb all those shares and it's worth money again, right?
[22:30] jacobvandy: no more worthless punks
[22:30] rocklover3300: of course;)
[22:31] jacobvandy: 1) plant mines for the rioting punks 2) wait for mass suicide due to fashion disaster 3) PROFIT!!!!
[22:31] jacobvandy: yet another genius plot by the guid-meister
[22:32] rocklover3300: guid-vandy-meister
[22:33] jacobvandy: i am but a pawn in the plot of world domination, all fueled by the overwhelming demand for your soul, my liege
[22:34] rocklover3300: yeaaah
[22:34] rocklover3300: but my sould costs millons
[22:36] jacobvandy: hey i don't know how much marty paid for it, but it is definitely now worth millions, if not billions
[22:36] rocklover3300: yeah
[22:36] rocklover3300: marty is da man
[22:37] jacobvandy: da man he is, but the poor sap sits on the sidelines, he has not offered to buy a share
[22:37] jacobvandy: you should talk to him about that
[22:40] rocklover3300: yeah i will
[22:40] rocklover3300: how much did he pay?
[22:40] jacobvandy: actually i think he said he won it in a card game
[22:41] jacobvandy: then he traded it to me for an album in the YSI forum
[22:41] jacobvandy: i'm not one to boast but i think i made out pretty well
[22:41] rocklover3300: yeah well who knows..
[22:42] rocklover3300: i gotta go now
[22:42] rocklover3300: it's late
[22:42] rocklover3300: tty 2morrow
[22:42] jacobvandy: okay dude, i'll take care of this
[22:42] rocklover3300: cooll
[22:42] rocklover3300: good luck
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