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» MEDIA (4) Figure 1 - The Test System Medusa 5.1 Headset Logitech G5 Laser Mouse Thats me - visiting friends in the US

Keeping in the spirit of this Challenge Round I thought I should introduce myself properly, but rather than having just another overview of who I am, what I do and how I came to be (the martians brought me here, to convert all you mere earthlings to unrealism!) I wanted to do something different. That’s when I thought of an introductory session I had at my previous study - Computer Science - where we had to introduce ourselves by means of our key chains... I can do that here too! Except this time, you’ll get to know me by means of my hardware – or what’s left of it.


Power under the Hood
So what have we got here? An Athlon64 3200+ CPU and an ATi X800 Pro video card, totally last-gen! It should also be noted that my version of Windows XP is 32-bit. Now on to the important part... what does this say about me?

The first obvious conclusion is that my visuals outdo my processing power and neither really match up by todays standards. Yet deep down both are still good enough to cope with the latest developments, albeit barely. Delving deeper into this hardware analysis of my personality comes forth a more shocking conclusion: I waste money. What processing power I do have is not being utilized properly and clearly never could keep up with the visuals - even if it was new and properly utilized.


Memory and Storage
Next up is my 2048MB SDRAM and 360 GB HDD space! Yes, that's SDRAM, not DDR. As for the storage space? That's 160 GB + 200 GB spread over 5 drives in Windows, with 10GB dedicated to my operating system and nearly all of it currently in use.

Now what kind of personal details can be deducted from these pieces of hardware? Firstly that my short term memory is rather extensive, but can use some upgrading to it's access rate. Clearly it can store plenty of details, but that's of little consequence when it cannot take in too much data at once nor recall data very quickly.

Then there's the horror of storage space. Obviously I have a vast long-term memory and I love to store everything, from the greatest moments to the tiniest of details, in there. Unfortunately it's usually so full of tiny details that some of the more important stuff (remembering to take the dog out for a walk) has to be thrown out in order to cram more data (Gears of War is coming to PC!) in there.


Housing
An Antec P160 case is actually pretty damn cool. Not too big, not too small and it has all sorts of pretty extras like heat sensors and glowing blue LEDs. It's made out of aluminum and as such is rather lightweight but also not very robust. The unusual locking mechanism for the side-panel allows you to easily open the case, if you know what you're doing.

What does this say about me? Obviously I'm slightly above average-sized (for a Dutchman) and attract attention. I have blue lights embedded in my bright shiny metallic-colored coat and heat sensors located in all the important places. Less obvious is that I open up easily to people, provided they know the proper way to work my rather unusual locking mechanisms. Obviously I'm also very lightweight (well no, not really) and can't take much abuse (again, in this respect it would seem I have overcome the limitations of my aluminum shell).


Airwaves
On to the important part... Audigy 2, Creative 6.1 Surround Set & Speedlink Medusa 5.1 USB Headset. Not to mention a broken Sennheiser PC160 and Razer Barracuda headset. That's what I'm talking about: top-notch hardware!

Initial impressions? Obviously my hearing must be exceptional with all this quality hardware. On the other hand, I'm not good with the stuff I buy - it breaks easily and quickly - once again confirming my money-wasting ways. Worse still I obviously do not know how to purchase proper hearing aids (headsets), because my current one drowns out voices in favor of background noise whereas the previous one was of unrivaled quality (until I broke it).

Personal Tip: never buy a Medusa 5.1 USB headset - it's a total waste of money.


Control Mechanisms
Motor Skills
On to the basic Logitech Multimedia keyboard, my decent G5 Laser Mouse with it's Steelpad 4D surface and an old-school Iiyama 19" monitor. These final aspects of my hardware aught to fully reveal the rest of my being.

The first observation one would make is that my movement is rather basic and not aided in any way by pre-made binds or optimized key sets. As a result my movement is decent, but not on the level of guru's of motion such as G15 and Zboard users. My optical nerves are capable of relaying detailed pictures to my CPU, but experience some difficulty in coping with sunlight and function as weirdly flashing entities up to a rate of 85 times per second, yikes.

Then come the more subtle influences... my eyes and head have insane reaction times and speed - while also performing highly reliably and even being adjustable in terms of weight (getting a haircut). The hand-eye coordination is up there alongside most Razer users (obviously, because I used to be one - until my Diamondback broke too), although not entirely leading the pack. Still, the motor skills on this beast are clearly above average. In recent times I've even added further firmware updates to my motor control implants and overclocked them to better cope with fast moving objects (wasps) and respond accordingly (whip out Hammer of InsectSlaying +5)



You might already have guessed that this hardware personality review didn't turn out to be quite as accurate as I had initially anticipated. Not quite so much an insight into my personality and lifestyle as it is a waste of your five minutes spend reading this. You'll have to try and divide the fact from fiction for yourself, but I'll be certain to follow up with something more insightful soon enough. Now... good day - and don't forget to say your prayers to Lauke, the one true God (of Unreal).