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Global Warming is a government conspiracy disguising the fact that Penguins are drilling for oil.
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shy FPS Girl in an MMORPG World (50 comments )
by: Kessandra (717) | Posted in cluster FiringSquad Editors Challenge Round 1 Prelim 2
Posted 16 months ago ( edited 16 months ago ) in category DEFAULT

I was never a big MMORPG gamer. I was the type of person who preferred to fight with honor, bravery and selflessness in games such as “America’s Army”. I never once thought about playing those horrid and pointless blasphemous atrocities known as MMORPGs.

I have heard tales of marriages breaking, lives destroyed, careers lost, financial bankruptcy and an out of control addiction. Some of these are pure exaggerations but others are real.

Why do I hate MMORPGs? It broke me and my boyfriend up. I played many trials of such horrific creations in the past and grew hopelessly bored with the amount of unrealistic tasks I must complete (whereas my ex loved it). I also grew bored of having to kill hundreds of animals for ‘experience’ or items that seemingly fall off their corpses. (I mean honestly, how does an ultra-powerful Death Star-like Elven sword fall off a boar?)

Unfortunately, me and my clan broke up and we went our separate ways. I grew tired of the same old maps, the same old strategies, the same old weapons and the same old idiotic twelve year old who calls you a hacker for killing him. The FPS genre turned stale…

One afternoon, at my local store, I picked up a copy of a computer journalism magazine known as “PC Gamer”. It contained two demos in one disc, one of which is an RTS called “Company of Heroes” and the other, a 14-day trial of World of Warcraft.

Unfortunately, my computer couldn’t handle the shouts and battle-cries of valorous soldiers of the past giving away their lives for their respective nations. So I decided to give this fantasy RTS turned MMORPG a try.

I created my account, downloaded and installed the game and I was off. I had many races to choose from, but whom shall I be? How about an extremely small, puny creature that you may find in other people’s lawns opposite the plastic pink flamingo? No.

How about an oversized cow? No. An overgrown human-grape hybrid with impossibly long ears? No. But alas, I have found it. The race we are all most familiar with: the human.

Now I must choose my social status. Do I become a valiant crusader fighting for justice? Do I become a malevolent sorcerer of the shadow? Nope. How about a deceitful cloaking rogue, someone who wouldn't think twice before sticking a knife behind your back? Nah, I’ll just go with a medieval version of the modern day infantryman: the Warrior, the backbone of every army.

Now I enter the magical and fantastical world of Azeroth, where lead CAN be turned into gold. I see a heavily armored figure in front of me, someone known as Willem. I wondered what was with the horridly annoying floating exclamation mark on his head, so I asked him. But before he answered my question, he gave me a task. I promptly ignored it, like he ignored my question.

So I ventured within the cathedral and saw more people with exclamation marks on their heads. What kind of crazy fad is going on here? I gave up and decided to do their pointless and menial tasks. I killed one wolf and another popped up to replace it. So I killed that one, but their was no end to the amount of wolves that spawn. So I returned to tell the guy with the exclamation mark that there was no hope and he was completely screwed. Strangely enough, his exclamation mark turned into a question mark. I asked him about it and he gave me some copper and some armor.

Then a column of light burst from the ground and encompassed my warrior. I thought she was a goner to this strange volcanic eruption of bright light but it was all over as soon as it began. Somehow, I leveled. My health increased, my attributes increased and all was swell.

Now I have another task to complete: I must go and kill these candle-worshipping rat mining laborers known as “Kobolds”. Now I can understand killing wolves, most of which are somewhat mindless, violent creatures that would gnaw you limbs off. But why do I have to kill these ugly rodent creatures who are just trying to make a living?

What do the humans of Azeroth have against immigrant rodent laborers? Heck, these poor Kobolds are living in poverty camps whilst the humans are enjoying their nice, luxurious cathedral.

I took off from the land of Northshire. My warrior isn’t a mass murderer. I entered a town known as Goldshire and saw people with silver exclamation marks on their heads. Now these must be the people who are rich enough to afford such glamorous holographic exclamation marks. Strangely, no one is offering me any type of work.

So I take off in hopes of finding someone who will want my services. I wander around, killed a few wolves and bears here and there but I am still unemployed. I am tempted to head back to Northshire but I must stand by my morals. After further wandering, I see a bunch of those ugly poor immigrant rodent laborers working in a mine and asked them if they needed any help. I guess the system works by you talking to someone with a yellow exclamation mark on their heads. But these Kobolds had none.

But I ventured in the mine regardless because these are my friends... or so I thought. One of them came after me and lunged his pickaxe on my hapless warrior. I run further into the mine but alas, I succumbed to the dark void encompassing my vision. It is the end, I have died...

Now I am a ghost, with an even larger ghost in front of me. This larger ghost resembles an angel. So I ask him/her if I am in heaven but he/she ignores me and tells me that they can send me back for a price. Dang monopolistic greedy angels…

What the heck is wrong with this game? Back-stabbing immigrant ‘friends’, Hitler-like guards in cathedrals, holographic exclamation marks? No thanks, I’ll stick to my hardcore FPS games.

(« prev) 20 of 39 (next ») In cluster: FiringSquad Editors Challenge Round 1 Prelim 2 » Flag this
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50 User Comment(s) • 14 root comment(s)
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Click to view hipcheck's User Page hipcheck (301)  Click to view hipcheck's User Profile Talk to hipcheck in the Shout! Box Mar 07, 2007 - 07:06 pm
nicely done, good to see you in the second round!

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Click to view FootSoulJah's User Page FootSoulJah (20)  Talk to FootSoulJah in the Shout! Box Mar 08, 2007 - 01:46 pm
Same here

Good Luck =]

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 08, 2007 - 10:39 pm
Thanks guys... its gonna be hard. ='(

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Click to view blznblzn2's User Page blznblzn2 (9)  Talk to blznblzn2 in the Shout! Box Mar 03, 2007 - 09:33 pm
What a bunch of nerds, a girl writes an article and you all flock to post. You people are worst than a teen chat room. The only reason most of you would read such trash is because you probably want to live out some twisted Freudian-esque fantasy where you are female. Which I'm sure most of you do anyways when you play a MMORPG. Then you do it under the facade of "oh well it's just a game, there's nothing wrong with a little curiosity..." you freaks. you think this while you look at jap models online inbetween your Final Fantasy Je*k off sessions looking at the females in the game as if they were real in any way and wondering what it would be like if you could marry meagan webb. Give me a break. I open up the site to read some news and see the lop sided "healthy criticisms" of an article you creeps responded with, when much better articles get less than half of the replies and attention you nerds give this one, all because the writer is a girl. Don't get me wrong i'm sure almost all the articles are sh(i)t written by community college students.

And please don't try to say I'm wrong. Don't say "it's really a good article" because I can see through your lies. you people are trying to get this girls attention to talk to her and feel as if this is some kind of real tactile relationship between the two of you. you become satisfied at her response as she accepts your criticism. You feel superior yet still intimated. you morons basically do the same thing when some one mentions, dare i say it? Wii is b3tt3r th4n Ps3 lol lol lol!

And yes I didn't read the article, nor did i read your posts. I'm just assuming this is how the events unfolded, based off skimming through, and being online long enough to know NERD when my eyes glance at certain words. for example if I glance at a paragraph without reading it and see any one of the words girl, jap, anime. Sure enough the numbers of responses will be bigger. Go to any other male dominated forum pretend to be a girl (which shouldnt be that hard for most of you) and see all the attention you get. And even if you think i'm being misogynistic and predjudice(which i am because men are superior in intellect and strength) think of it this way, you freaks are giving all your attention to an article because it's a girls. Who is being prejudice here?

It's a shame that all the articles werent written by females some diffusion would've been nice and made this "contest" more applicable.

don't bother responding because I'm not going to.

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Click to view FootSoulJah's User Page FootSoulJah (20)  Talk to FootSoulJah in the Shout! Box Mar 08, 2007 - 01:46 pm
err... I was only interested in this article cause it had FPS and MMORPG in it...

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Click to view FlyinBrian's User Page FlyinBrian (47)  Talk to FlyinBrian in the Shout! Box Mar 05, 2007 - 09:38 am
FYI my responses would of been the same wether male or female. The rediculous stereo type that everyone who posted is some kind of horny nerd is also dumb. Even if it were true, what kind of stupid fantasy would Kessandra be fulfilling for those types of people by writing this article. Your argument is Void.

Now, back on topic somewhat. I like wow a lot but frankly been bored with it and I play more RTS of late. Id reccomend anyone who loves pvp in their MMO's to check out warhammeronline.com and look at their videos and read up on the game, especially if you played Daoc for a long time like I did. This game to me is the most promising MMO I have seen in a while for pvp and just plain fun. I miss that. Wow is ok for dungeon crawling but in pvp I just feel its lacking. I also miss the community those games encourage.

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Click to view FootSoulJah's User Page FootSoulJah (20)  Talk to FootSoulJah in the Shout! Box Mar 08, 2007 - 01:53 pm
The guy didn't even read the article so he just made that assumpsion.

Well PVP servers are annoying in WoW...

Some level 60 walks all the way to your land just to pwn you and then they get pwned when finally another level 60 is there...

I reckon the RTS Community should be more active... I mean when people say games the first things they usually comes in people's head's are either FPS, Some Console Game, or WoW

I know that in South Korea RTS (especially starcraft) is really popular over there. However in countries like US and stuff, it isn't. I mean all the pro gamers/clans that are known well are all FPS Players. I just hope RTS will eventually become as big as FPS one day

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Click to view FootSoulJah's User Page FootSoulJah (20)  Talk to FootSoulJah in the Shout! Box Mar 10, 2007 - 05:37 am
... I accidently flagged your post sorry...

anyway the CnC3 features ain't gonna do much... all it is, is allowing users to commintate the game which is kind of pointless imo

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Click to view Kessandra's User Profile Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 09, 2007 - 02:46 am
C&C 3 is supposed to have features that make it an ideal game for large tournaments and competitions.

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Click to view Harvester's User Page Harvester (55)  Talk to Harvester in the Shout! Box Mar 04, 2007 - 05:35 pm
Gee, you seem like a really fun person to hang out with...

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Click to view Kessandra's User Profile Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 04, 2007 - 03:31 am | Edited on Mar 04, 2007 - 05:50 am
Ok... you did not read my article. Thus that doesn't give you the right to call it trash, or to tell everyone that they are a fucking nerd for giving me honest comments. Have you even read their comments? A lot of them don't even say "Its a nice article", they argue my statements and we all have a friendly debate. Just because they are kind and somewhat chivalrous doesn't mean they are all stupid horny nerds.

No, I am not a sad little twelve year old impersonating a woman for the sake of curiosity, I am 21 and dropped out of college since my father's death (very stupid of me). Now I barely managed to get a good paying job with the US Department of State and I travel around the world. No, I am not a Pulitzer-prize winning journalist but neither are you, so you have no right to judge us in that way. Most of these articles aren't shit.

And I think we are all community college students or at least teens and at least this contest gives us the opportunity to practice our writing skills so we may be successful journalists in the future.

No, I have not received any "relationship" requests or participated in any MMO cyber-sex. So get a grip you stupid nerd. People like you just get me so frustrated.

Oh, and if you are curious as to all the attention I am receiving, sure it could be because I am a girl but have you seen my orange title that stands out from the rest? I have been advertising my article like crazy and I am glad it worked out.

And when you say "skimming through and seeing words like anime, jap and girl... where the hell does it say anime or jap? I am Spanish/American by the way.

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Click to view xts's User Page xts (26)  Talk to xts in the Shout! Box Mar 02, 2007 - 06:38 pm
» Valid points but your article...
... shows a misunderstanding of just how complicated it is to make games on current technology. Especially MMO games that have to deal with network latencies. It is an enormous engineering undertaking to make these "simple games" the reason they are kept simple is simply due to cost and limits on computational power. I can only imagine the bandwidth, computational, and patch nightmare if they ever had truly "compelling" sentient computer controlled NPC's that are at least socially intelligent enough and engaging as some real people.

Next, ANY activity performed for a prolonged period of time is going to wear you thin. Imagine going swimming everyday at the beach for years on end or clubbing every other night, or whatever. Any leisure activity can become boring. It's called the law of diminishing returns.

Lastly you expect too much from games not knowing the vast engineering involved, if games are boring you, find better ways to use your time. Or find smaller more self contained games that do not require an enormous time commitment, there are lots of great "small" games out there that we haven't discovered yet.

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Click to view Kessandra's User Profile Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 03, 2007 - 12:22 am | Edited on Mar 03, 2007 - 12:25 am
For some reason, I feel compelled to parry your comment.

First, its just to be an amusing read. But, a read with valid information. This article is nothing more but the viewpoint of a newcomer to the game. I don't need or want Oblivion-style NPC quests. I just need some more creative quests, quests that engage me instead of the same grind or escort quest.

And WoW's expansion, Burning Crusade, fixed it. Or at least added brand new and highly engaging quests and locations. Vanilla WoW still needs work. Also, you are very much wrong (or I misread what you said): You don't download quests and textures. Its already there when you installed it. What NPCs say or do is already there. The only thing you download is kilobits of code telling you where real players are, what they are wearing and what they are doing. And WoW is HARDLY a PC power hog.

Now what I say about boredom or a game becoming stale, you are correct. Playing it to death will make it highly boring. BUT, thats not what I said. I have played certain genres a lot throughout my life but as of late, there has been a hold of new and engaging content in FPS games. That is, until Crysis and other FPSes come out later this year.

As for WoW becoming boring... Well, after doing the same type of quest and killing essentially the same creature for 60 (I say 60 because 60-70 is actually fun) levels.

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Click to view xts's User Page xts (26)  Talk to xts in the Shout! Box Mar 03, 2007 - 09:58 am
» Actually... some comments and an idea!
I know I am right in regard to the engineering nightmare I'm talking about, I do programming. And no its not all kept on your computer.

You said:
"As for WoW becoming boring... Well, after doing the same type of quest and killing essentially the same creature for 60 (I say 60 because 60-70 is actually fun) levels."

Well, I have a great idea, I always loved trying to decompose what parts of games are fun for different people and then try to come up with a table and understand why those things are fun, like an explanation of fun. Most people don't have the introspective power to describe the how's and why's beyond "it just is" but from speaking to you might want to give it a try, I think it would make a great article. Maybe join together with some people in other clusters. I know I'd write it together with you about what elements are fun for me in games. Doing a comparison to better understand one another as gamers would be pretty cool.

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Click to view xts's User Page xts (26)  Talk to xts in the Shout! Box Mar 03, 2007 - 08:15 pm
» And while we're at it..
We'll do a full page satire on the horrible interface of FS and the whole contest... my god... I feel less human every time I come here, lol.

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Click to view Kessandra's User Profile Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 03, 2007 - 10:56 am
Sure that'd be awesome! xD

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Click to view Kessandra's User PageI am an AMD Agent Kessandra (717)  My XFire username is: kessandra Click to view Kessandra's User Profile Talk to Kessandra in the Shout! Box I am an AMD Agent Mar 02, 2007 - 10:31 am
Wow... My article received the most comments. I hope thats a good thing: an article receiving a lot of attention and generating a lot of debate. ^_^

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Click to view xts's User Page xts (26)  Talk to xts in the Shout! Box Mar 02, 2007 - 09:35 pm
» Heh..
I hear being a girl on the internet helps... :)

No offense meant, just take it as both truth, irony and satire. :)

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Click to view NonnyMouse's User Page NonnyMouse (3)  Talk to NonnyMouse in the Shout! Box Mar 02, 2007 - 06:49 am
» ROFL
Great article! I really enjoyed it. It's so funny in WOW when a snake drops a glove, or a blob of jelly drops a suit of armour. Games should make SOME sort of made-up logic! I vote 10/10.

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