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» MEDIA (1) Embracing mediocrity since 2001.

Most people in the world don't really get hockey. Given the story below, I'm not sure if I do either.

Yesterday, I was at my parents' house for a get-together. We were all sitting around, catching up, and the conversation turned to hockey. My brother hadn't played in a while, and was talking about getting back into it.

The problem, he said, was that the only group of friends he had left who were playing usually just got drunk before going out on the ice to play, and they all end up fighting.

"Wow - sounds like a tough league", I said.

"Nah... it's not a league. These guys just rent the ice at 2am on Wednesdays."

So, for those of us keeping score:

1) These guys rent the ice at 2:00 in the morning during a weeknight. That, in itself, isn't entirely rare - for average guys, it's often the only time we can get. Name me one more sport - anywhere - where guys will do that. Canadian hockey players are hardcore, no doubt.

2) They get drunk before they go out on the ice, which is fairly ambitious at the best of times. If you've never tried it, the jarring motions associated with playing hockey increase the effects of carbonation, which means you end up burping up this weird beer-foam stuff all over the place. If it's only the foam, count yourself lucky.

3) They go out to fight. Despite what some non-purists would like to say, fighting is indeed a part of the game - but with a group of friends, drunk, at 2:00am on a weeknight?

Ah, well. As long as one of the guys brings a puck, I guess it's still called hockey.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

Since Knuckles so correctly punked me for using Yahoo as a crutch for link-harvesting in my last blog entry (mad love, dude), here are some non-Yahoo-sourced links:

- We're still kicking around the idea of the ".xxx" Internet domain name for porn sites. Frankly, I think it's a good idea for a lot of reasons - mostly, it makes the sites easier to find if you want them, and easier to block if you don't.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/I/INTERNET_PORNOGRAPHY?SITE=FLPET

- You know you're on a website frequented by people who fit within a certain category, when one of the most popular forum posts is this one:

http://forums.firingsquad.com/firingsquad/board/message?board.id=offtopic&thread.id=65056

I love you guys, really.

For what it's worth, we have to consider Star Wars more endearing - but Star Trek more technically appealing. I happen to like both, which puts me squarely under the heading of "hopeless". It's pretty amazing that I ever had children, when you think about it.

- I'm really excited for the NFL season to start. Love the game. Hey, any excuse to have a couple of ginger-ales and carrot sticks in front of the TV, right? To be honest, though, I'm finding myself more excited about fantasy football stats these days than anything else.

(No link on this one - but check the image attached to this post. Sweet stats, indeed - FEAR ME!)

I bore the hell out of my wife talking about fantasy football - but I just can't find it within my power to spare her the agony of another weekly report. My favourite tactic is to frame it in a sarcastic context - "Guess what??? You'll never believe it!! My fantasy football team won!", which usually elicits a derisory snort from my poor wife. Secretly, however, my soul tears every time a little bit that I have to downplay my passion like that.

Gotta remember, guys - even though the wife loves you, you've still got to make the effort to not have her throwing up in her own mouth when you make a move on her. Star Wars, Star Trek, Fantasy Football... at least, give the girl a chance. They deserve enormous credit for hanging around with us at all - don't make it any tougher than it needs to be.

Link 'o the Day today goes to the "Tanks!" website. This site has everything you ever wanted to know about tanks in combat before 1946 - listed by country. I'm a WWII history guy, but this guy takes things to a whole new level.

External Link: http://mailer.fsu.edu/~akirk/tanks/