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| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 |   OldFriend (178) Mar 19, 2007 - 09:33 pm » Edited on Mar 19, 2007 - 09:32 pm
| | hahahahahaha. dude, i had such a hard time with the title. i wanted something catchy, yet would also have lots of search engine type keywords. in the end i guess i just came up with some vomit. btw i replied to your post in my matrix page. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | OldFriend (178) Mar 19, 2007 - 09:21 pm » Edited on Mar 19, 2007 - 09:34 pm
| man what a mixed bag this is. in a way i wish this was like finding a great pickup bball game at the gym; the losers don't get eliminated and you can play them again and again. alas, somebody has to win, but it's been a rare pleasure and a privilege competing with everyone here in round 2, especially the people with whom i exchanged comments with.
edit: i hope all of you stick around to critique the next round. you're all intelligent, well spoken individuals and your perspectives are exceedingly welcome! Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | OldFriend (178) Mar 19, 2007 - 07:05 pm
| | omg they still haven't announced yet??! i've been away all day, and gladly so not having to wait in angst for the results. now i have nothing to do but... wait in angst for the results =( Flag this | Edit this post |
| Shout Box Link » /matrix/user.asp/61866 | OldFriend (178) Mar 19, 2007 - 01:40 am » Edited on Mar 19, 2007 - 02:23 am
| omg i had this huge reply typed out and then accidentally hit the back button on my mouse =(
so in short, i've grown up adoring rich english phrasings like:
"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though, by your smiling, you seem to say so." from Hamlet
or:
"Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." from Tennyson's Ulysses.
and not lastly, the writings of Peter S. Beagle; most notably The Last Unicorn.
So I try to recreate such wonderful phrasings in my writing, even my technical papers. a lot of articles got stuck with the 'dry' label in the judges' preview. i think that's the worst thing they could've said to me; i would've cried if they did. I abhor boring english you see, even sound, logical english. I tend to use cadence to set a tempo, an intensity to the emotion, and then use unconventional phrasings to set the emotion. nothing stands out in one's mind like a phrasing that shouldn't work, but strangely does. sometimes it doesn't work, but when it does, it's a powerful effect. I held back a lot though; i recognized that for a technical site like FS.com, at least 80% of the article should be informative. so i try to go as crazy as i can with the other 20%.
The key, especially in a competition like this, is to stand out. you have it in you; your star trek article deservedly won the first round. but it seems everyone here is a proficient technical writer. you gotta be better than the field, and noticeably so. i knew i could've written a standard technical article about the wheel, but realistically, after reading so many grammatically sound, well thought out standard articles, it's nearly impossible to not go numb. you've got to grab their hearts and minds and not let go until they're breathless on the ground yet wanting more. i hope; i demand you make round 3 so i can see the supernova man. we both can do better than we did this rd. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | OldFriend (178) Mar 18, 2007 - 09:13 pm
| | turning a phrase is just a thing i've always had a knack for, but honestly i think yours and millroy's articles outdid mine in terms of informativeness and attention to detail. i haven't done/read a lot of hardware reviews so it's hard for me to think of everything i need to be keeping track of. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | OldFriend (178) Mar 18, 2007 - 09:06 pm » Edited on Mar 18, 2007 - 09:10 pm
| not a bad idea! i swear i'll upload media of MY cat if i make it!
nervous-time folks. I normally have no problem with self-confidence, but putting your work out for the world to judge is a damn fine way to make anyone feel small. (*Napoleon Dynamite voice* Stop Looking at me!!! GAWWWWD) Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | OldFriend (178) Mar 17, 2007 - 03:42 pm
| ideally they would've given us more lead-in time to both do all our research AND turn it in early. but absent that, it's paramount the article is of utmost quality cuz the judges will see that and they count for 4/7ths of your score.
...still, your 43 ratings are killin' me dave, just killin' me. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 | OldFriend (178) Mar 16, 2007 - 01:13 am » Edited on Mar 16, 2007 - 02:38 am
| haha thanks bro. you're makin me blush heh. your article makes me wanna curl up in a ball, it's so damn professional sounding. my forte is creative writing though; i couldn't have written something like yours which i think is equally good or better.
re: the middle sentences, if you mean the 'graphs just after 'with your powers combined', i meant it to have a staccato cadence reminiscent of one's heartbeat when focus is at a razor sharp edge. also the cadence of one's thoughts when you run through a checklist in anticipation of some imminent event. but you're right that i let it drone on too long. too many sentences beginning with 'the'.
and that's not forza, that's forza 2, due to come out in may for the 360. and from what i've read you need one xbox per tv, daisy-chained together with the system link feature. i've read it will support up to 5 screens simultaneously, although in development it supports up to 8. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61869/305 | OldFriend (178) Mar 15, 2007 - 08:48 pm
| | no xbox1 games support force feedback cuz, well, the xbox didn't support force feedback. there WAS a wheel made by fanatec that had sort of a jerry-rigged force feedback, but that was a function of the wheel, not the game. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 | OldFriend (178) Mar 15, 2007 - 08:18 pm » Edited on Mar 15, 2007 - 08:19 pm
| i don't believe in scores when i can't compare it to very many other wheels that i haven't tried.
the substance is in the writing, but you're probably right about the loudness question. i'm something of a n00b when it comes to hardware reviews so i didn't consider that, but the video does have audio. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 | OldFriend (178) Mar 15, 2007 - 05:00 pm » Edited on Mar 15, 2007 - 08:13 pm
| yeah i tend to be fast and loose with my grammar because it can add flare to the writing, but i also catch myself going overboard at times and just making it awkward to read.
i think you're right, but i was so numb after spending all of monday and tuesday writing it i just submitted and went out to take a break all of wednesday. by the time i rechecked it it was too late to revise. oh well. Flag this | Edit this post |
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