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| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/5093/589 |  Millroy (24) Aug 13, 2007 - 09:38 am » Edited on Aug 13, 2007 - 09:39 am
| Telegram for YodaBlues:
Your video was lolz. STOP.
Shame the video quality is lost in compression. STOP.
Laugh track out of nowhere scared me witless. STOP.
Again, lolz. STOP. Flag this | Edit this post |
| News Link » /news/newsarticle.asp?searchid=14733 | Millroy (24) Mar 20, 2007 - 08:23 am » Edited on Mar 20, 2007 - 08:29 am
| Thanks guys. I have to say though I wasn't surprised. I believe the piece I submitted for round 2 was well done, but I recognized after Jcal's comment in the preview that it wasn't the right type of piece for this site. The topic was good and so was the tone, but the pacing and structure were better suited for an editorial style.
I'm new to the game so I might be wrong, but I imagine a tech article on a website has got to be crystal clear in purpose and quick to deliver its point. Failing to do so means the user has already clicked through to another google result for what he or she is looking for. The magic comes in finding the balance between a creative and unique voice and a concise, precise, instantly accessible summary of the information.
I realize this all too late, and when I judge my piece in that light, I certainly fail to meet those standards. I think I would have done much better in round 3, but the judges aren't there to guess at what I might do. They could only consider what I did do, which is how it should be.
Oh, and please someone correct me if I'm wrong, because like I said, I'm a noob to journalism, tech writing, or writing for a pro website.
Also, it's going to be kind of fun watching the next round of intense competition unfold without the pressure of performing. It will be nice to get some decent sleep again! Okay, now I'm rubbing it in but seriously, good luck to the final ten. It's going to be a hell of a show. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 | Millroy (24) Mar 19, 2007 - 08:52 pm
| Congratulations man.
I've wanted to say this ever since you posted the article but I didn't want to sway the score or voting, but man, I can't read the title without replacing "enlivened" with "embiggened" and then chuckling. Flag this | Edit this post |
| News Link » /news/newsarticle.asp?searchid=14733 | Millroy (24) Mar 19, 2007 - 08:36 pm
| Dang. What a mix of emotions.
Congratulations all, and thanks to the FiringSquad staff to putting the work into putting this whole shindig on. Thanks for the chance, and thanks for opening my mind to the world of journalistic writing, something I'd never considered doing before.
Once again though, dang. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Shout Box Link » /matrix/user.asp/61866 | Millroy (24) Mar 16, 2007 - 09:45 am
| Figured instead of littering up your media-blog's comments, I'd ask here. I was thinking last night about how my background is mostly creative writing and academic writing (papers for philosophy classes, my major back in the day), and I wondered how that affects my approach to these articles both good and bad.
Now that I think about it, there's probably more creative writing students there than I first would have thought. What's your creative writing focus been, and how do you think it influences your writing here? Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/61866/303 | Millroy (24) Mar 15, 2007 - 10:46 pm
| Well, if we're talking rigs, I'm running an Athalon 1700+, 1GB RAM, and a Radeon 9800 PRO. Mushed into an old Compaq case with custom made buttons and lights (because the proprietary ones on the case wouldn't work).
What I meant to compliment was what I thought was your 4 monitors of Forza setup. Just the idea makes me feel emotions I previously didn't know existed.
As far as your article goes, you have a professional sounding writing style that's informative and easy to read. If I were to offer a critique, I would say to vary your sentence length. In some of the middle paragraphs I would run into a series of sentences of similar length and structure. It takes away from the voice and can be distracting. It can also make the article feel long.
That's all I could find to criticize though. You got skills, mac. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/62124/304 | Millroy (24) Mar 15, 2007 - 10:13 pm
| I honestly considered structuring the article in sections, as I’ve noticed that’s what the norm seems to be among the submissions. There were a couple reasons I chose not to. One is that dividing the article up works well to help organize topics, but it can also hinder the flow of the article if not done well. My topic is subjective in nature, dealing more with the abstract game experience than with hard data. That presented a challenge in terms of how to organize the information in a way that’s both easy to follow but is also interesting. I couldn’t think of a way to divide the information into sections without changing the overall feel of the article or forcing the information to fit into a specific framework. The other reason is more shallow: everyone else seemed to be doing it, and I decided at this stage in the game that I still wanted to set myself apart while attempting to prove I could make a more straitlaced type of article.
If I had to critique myself (and I always do), I’d say length is its main weakness. If it were tighter, or if the intro setting up the info was shorter, perhaps it would be easier to keep all the information in mind without the need of dividing the topics up.
Anyway, thanks to both of you for saying something, because it really got me thinking! Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/15 | Millroy (24) Mar 13, 2007 - 10:08 pm
| I should do a letter about writing the article in the form of a letter about how hard it is to write the article. About hardware.
I'm trying a more straight up piece this time. Don't want to be a one trick pony. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/62450/130 | Millroy (24) Mar 03, 2007 - 03:59 pm
| Nice job. I was looking for a new game and when I saw this in the bargain bin, I picked it up remembering your review. I have to say you were pretty on with your description.
About your entry: while as a review, I see the point that others are making. It doesn't go into a ton of detail. Yet it was easy to digest, informative, and gave me all the information necessary to pique my interest in about 2 minutes. Great for what I guess I'd call a "teaser". Either way you cut it though, solid work. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/27663/164 | Millroy (24) Feb 25, 2007 - 08:47 pm
| Dude: a couch, a projection screen, a DualTV tuner card, a wife... you got the HOOK-UPS!
Nice setup with the desk, the computer featuring the FiringSquad logo, the game boxes lined up behind. Those touches give it a pro feel.
Granted, I've never made a video, so I don't know how the software you all are using works, but I've worked on my share of audio. What would help everyone is some tighter audio and speech. Even one stuttered or stilted phrase takes away from the whole thing. This means multiple takes and some time spent editing audio.
Which is a lot of work, I know.
One other thing I'd suggest would be to use the same mic throughout the whole process. I don't know what rig you've got setup, but if in shots where you're speaking to the camera, you have the same mic recording as you do in your voice-overs, you can use that sound and it will feel more uniform.
Other than that, good script - I see what you're going for and you're almost there.
(I don't know how you video guys do it - so much work!) Flag this | Edit this post |
| Cluster Shout Box Link » /matrix/cluster.asp/3 | Millroy (24) Feb 19, 2007 - 09:15 am » Edited on Feb 19, 2007 - 09:20 am
| I’ve put off weighing in for a few reasons. For one, I’m assuming this is the first time the FS staff have held this exact contest, so they’ll always be a degree of experimentation, and whatever they do, they probably won’t be able to make us all happy. Second, I was fairly happy with voting for my entry, so I didn’t want to jinx anything. Third, I’m new here and don’t want to rock the boat.
It seemed to me that after the first day (I wish I’d logged times, because it’s interesting) there were three or four strong articles leading the pack. Then, in a short period of time, the vote counts on some of those articles increased while their scores all went somewhat down, and a few other articles too the lead. The first thing that came to mind is what you all said – that in addition to voting some entries up, friends were voting the highest rated competitors down. It’s the only explanation I could eke out as to why the frontrunners’ scores shifted down suddenly. Well, either that, or a random distribution of legit votes happened not to appear very random, leading us to don our tinfoil hats.
If you’re going to have public voting of any kind, there’s no way to avoid friends helping friends out, so you might as well acknowledge and endorse it. It’s more fair than discouraging it, so that some choose not to while others do.
Also, for this round, I’m not so sure it made a huge difference, though it’s not as if I’ve been charting this whole thing in excel. It might have messed with someone on the border of the top 15 in ratings, but that’s also why there’s judges. Flag this | Edit this post |
| Matrix Blog Link » /matrix/blog.asp/5093/65 | Millroy (24) Feb 17, 2007 - 09:51 am
| Granted, the only video reviews I'm really familiar with are hardware reviews, which are live action to feature the hardware. So no offense and take whatever I say with salt, but I don't think graphics are the way to go. I think it would make the presentation feel a bit like an infomercial, or a seminar. What I do see people pointing to is the difficulty in integrating the vast amount of information you've thrown their way. I don't know how you could fix that problem (besides reviewing simpler games) though taking a pause between different subjects would help a great deal.
All that said, impressive and well spoken. Flag this | Edit this post |
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